240/365...Not Today, Thank You!

240/365...Not Today, Thank You!, originally uploaded by WakingUp~R E E S E~.

I tried to talk to my ex this evening about some debt that we have together. For over two years I have been the only individual who has paid toward our joint debt. He seriously hasn’t contributed a damn dime. I even had to pay 2K towards his car to get my name removed because I was a consigner on the thing from before our divorce… and well, he didn’t pay on it for over 6 months. Anyway, he owes me lots of money.

Some may wonder why I don’t go after him for it and I have my reasons… the time will come, and it may come soon… There are some things in the works.

On with my story… Currently there is one item of debt that is huge and I have been paying towards it for some time now. I recently found out that they will take a settlement offer on it… this means big savings… anyway, since I have half of it saved up, I feel like he should pay the other half… sounds good, but the poor man doesn’t have the money… he works below his potential and well, just to make it short… he won’t go somewhere and borrow money (never mind that I had to borrow money to remove my name from his car…and in the processes paid off half of the car). He won’t ask his parents for money… but they will pay for a lawyer to take me to court to fight for visitation for them….

Anyway, this all gets me frustrated. I tried to talk to him tonight…and he just starts yelling at me… and I get off the phone feeling like I am the bad guy. I cannot let this go one… the me feeling like the bad guy. I have told myself that I just can not talk to him…. At all … it is not possible to talk about adult responsibilities with this man.

I am handing it all over to the judge. I have to put faith in the system. It all boils down to things are not fair.

Being a co-parent with this man is impossible… he considers co-parenting only about sharing visitation with the kids and me allowing him to talk to the kids…. Forget about helping pay the medical bills and the dental bills. Forget about the fact that our daughter needs braces. All he is concerned with is that I get child support and nothing else. Child support goes towards rent, heat, food and clothing. He is supposed to pay half of the medical and dental. He doesn’t.

I know he is having a hard time, but I also know that it is his own doing. He has quit like 4 jobs in the last year and a half. I can’t up and quit my job just because I am not happy with it. Okay, I am happy( or at least alright) with my job, but I would like to live somewhere else… a bigger city, but I can’t just quit my job and relocate on a dime because of this want(I need to save money, I need a job that pays the same, even more because living in the city will cost more, etc. etc.)… I have responsibilities… I am a woman of honor and integrity. I know what my responsibilities are and I take care of them. . I am doing a great job at taking care of “our” debt. I do rather well for a single woman with two kids.

As far as needing his contribution other than child support, I don’t need it, other than I would love to take care of this debt at the settlement offer.

I do have messed up credit because of this whole divorce… I would love to start rebuilding my credit… but I can’t until this debt is settled… I tried to purchase a car recently but couldn’t because of this whole situation. All I am asking is that he does the right thing for once…. UGH, is that too much to ask in this unfair game of life????

I know it sounds like I have done nothing but gripe, and yes I have… and that is my right to do so… It needs to be done from time to time.

UGH!!!!! Can I just say that life isn't fair one more time and be done with it??????

Note to self: DO NOT TALK TO THE EX… If he wants to be an ass, let him, but do not let it effect you!!!!!!!!!!

238/365...Sometimes you gotta fake it til you make it.

Prompt 39

"Never frown, because you never know when someone is falling in love with your smile".

Carol O'Leary

238/365...Sometimes you gotta fake it til you make it., originally uploaded by WakingUp~R E E S E~.

Today started out so bad... I wanted to call out in such a bad way... but I told myself that I couldn't quit on this day... to many people were counting on me to be at school today. In Foods we had a lab scheduled and I had a number of students coming in after school to receive help on the finishing touches on projects they are working on for competitive events we are attending next week. To I said "Just Do It'... go get the day over with, then headed out the door with two kids who were in tears (my tears were about to flow as well). On the way to work I kept reminding myself of so many positive things and also told myself to fake a smile.... So that is what I did... I put on a fake smile. Well, by the middle of the morning it started to pay off... by then I had forgotten that I was in a bad mood. The labs were great and the students that met with me after school (yes, on a Friday) were able to get a lot accomplished.

So, now the weekend is here and I wish I could say that I am going to kick back and relax, but those of you who follow my stream know that I am going to put myself to work on revamping my Interior Design curriculum. So to me... I wish myself a productive weekend and to the rest of you, Happy, Relaxing Weekend to you!

2|01|08 Red

2|01|08 Red, originally uploaded by WakingUp~R E E S E~.

Prompt 32

"When I haven't any blue, I use red."

Pablo Picasso

Find red in your life today


Although Red is not my Favorite, Favorite color... I do like red a lot. It is one of my favorite colors to wear. I feel that I looks good on me and I receive a lot of compliments when wearing red.

Colors can evoke emotion and memories. When I think of red and clothing, I think of a red shirt of my dad's that I adopted as my own in high school. It was a button down camp style shirt. I would wear it tied at the waist. I recall wearing it to a high school dance at the end of the school year. I even remember the shorts I wore. I had made them and they were Bermuda style with a Hawaiian print on them.

Red is a powerful color to me. It demands action... demands to be noticed. Those that have a red personality are motivate by this power. (Dr. Hartman Color Code Personality) As far as personality goes, I am not a red. I am a strong yellow, which has a core motive of enjoying the moment.

Red makes up my Favorite, Favorite color, which is orange. My favorite color has changed a number of times over the years. Orange was my favorite color as a little girl (about 5 yrs old). For the past 2 years it has been my favorite color again. I love the warmth it gives and I love the possible color combinations when you combine orange with red, or blue or even purple. I love orange.
I would say that my preference in colors goes as follows: Orange, Yellow, Red. As far as favorite colors to wear: Blue, Green, Red, Brown, and Black... in no particular order.